one time david and i were watching "the dog whisperer" on television (it must have been at a restaurant because we sure don't get the fancy cable that features the dog whisperer and also seventh heaven reruns here. it is all america's funniest home videos, all day at the hughes crib). the show in question involved a german shepherd who was barking at and scaring the shit out of his owner's new husband. it was sometime around the point that the new husband put his helmet on and (terrifiedly) walked past the dog into the backyard to retrieve his bicycle that david said these immortal words: "man, that dude has a total yoplait face."
much like the time i once said that someone (possibly the entire duggar family) "looks like they drink a lot of milk," but even more on point, yoplait face has become a perfect descriptive term for all those people out there in america who wear elbow pads, eat kraft cheese products, and are usually named brian. the yoplait face is the opposite of a freak face, which evidently if you are a man you will know what that means?
the yoplait face isn't all bad. just the other day we observed a young asian man riding his bicycle on the sidewalk wearing a helmet and sitting up very straight as he pedaled along, and it was among the real nicest things i saw all week. total yoplait. the principal in eastbound and down is a quintessential example of yoplait at its finest (pictured above). yoplait can easily be found at your local hallmark gold crown store, babies r us, and any coffee shop with the word "bean" in the title. yoplait buys 95% of the world's antibacterial hand sanitizer, and they aren't afraid to use it. thank you, yoplait faces of america, for making this great nation what it is today.