Thursday, September 30, 2010

nature v nurture

photo credit: dan foley

yesterday morning we strapped shoshi into her yuppie-grade three-wheeled all-terrain strollermobile and walked on over the the family health center on paterson for her four-month checkup (90th percentile for height, by the way--our girl's going to potentially be tall). and man, the waiting room of that place was like ground zero for grim city. i keep noticing so many mothers either totally ignoring their sobbing babies or all, "SIT YER ASS DOWN" which, grammar aside, i have serious doubts i could talk to somebody like that even if we were blood enemies (real phrase?), much less my small child. it really does make my blood boil (it's a bloody post, what can i say) when parents think it's ok to talk to their kids with total contempt and disrespect, on the reg. as david said (loudly):"what up with all these bitch moms?"

and then you have the scene right before my friend casey's wedding last weekend, when sho and i and three of my dear friends were all getting ready for the ceremony in a small unheated cabin with one tiny mirror to share between us. after i pulled the second layer of tights on over shoshi's plump little thighs, put on her monster boots, and popped up her bear hood, i stood back for a moment in silent admiration of the cute explosion happening before my very eyes. i said something like, "whoah, check out this cute." and as i held sho up while she stood on a bunk bed, all three of her aunties crowded around with exclamations of delight until they finally began clapping for her. the girl got a standing ovation for being herself (with help from the bear hoodie, of course).

so, even though i tend to think most of who you are is just random DNA sequencing stuck in your genes from moments after conception, i do have to believe that how you are treated in your early days has something to do with who you end up becoming. and that is why i intend to get sho going on the child beauty pageant circuit, post haste.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

on football

out of all the sports that make my brain go -------------, football is the -------iest of them all. i like the parts where the announcers talk about the players' life stories, or interesting facts of football history, or best of all when one of the players or coaches cries, but when it comes time to play and all the players are just this big murky jumble on the field, my mind does the exact thing it does in chase scenes in movies, namely go ----------------. football is the least aesthetically beautiful of all the sports. (sometimes during sports games i like to make a mental list of my own sports prejudices, for example hockey players are the most likely to beat their wives and drive very clean pickup trucks. golfers are the most likely to have drinking problems and weird sexual pecadillos, like peeing on people/getting peed on. soccer players are the most likely to cheat on their wives with their wives' permission, while basketball players are the most likely to cheat on their wives without their wives' permission. and so on.)

anyway, as it happens my new husband is a football fan. he was in fact a "football star" in high school. he enjoys watching football and talking about football, primarily on sundays at 1 pm which is when football takes place. i have decided to embrace this for a number of reasons. i like how the lions are the underdoggiest of all the underdogs, much like michigan. (the aesthetics of their logo and outfits needs some work however.) i like how cozy a football game sounds (especially on the radio) in the fall and winter months (i think this cozy association was imprinted on my brain from a young age by my mom's three brothers). football watching mostly involves drinking beer and eating fried cheese, two parts of life that i deeply appreciate. also there is the part where the players (i typed characters at first) cry and cry like little kindegarten babies. additionally i like how mistah hughes can build things (he is sawing something in the basement as we speak, also hammering), carry a baby in one hand, and (yes) watch football. i don't even want to think about what this means for my feminist leanings, it is hot to think about my man tackling or linebacking or front rear end sideline grabbing.

so, i told him that as long as i don't have to watch or get caught up in the repeated heartbreak (especially for a lions fan) of wins/losses, i will make one delicious food every sunday for his football party (as i like to call it, even when he just listens to the radio in the basement. i also keep calling it super bowl sunday every sunday. sometimes i like to call it both, as in, "are you so excited for your super bowl sunday football party today??")

this has been sarah v, on football.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

doom, gloom

along with parenthood has come a new hobby for me (no, i'm not talking about putt putt golf n games OR formula k family fun park...this time). and that is...worrying about unlikely things! for example, on our recent honeymoon i liked to think about what if someone came to the cabin at night, after i'd put shoshi to bed but while david and i were still awake. they would murder us both (obviously) but would overlook the sleeping bundle of baby in the bed. or, maybe they weren't in the mood for baby killing that day. who am i to say? either way, HOW LONG would it take for sho to be discovered? in that case, it would really have been days. oh god. the thought of her crying and crying and wondering why her mama was ignoring her...and then REALLY crying...

well, that's my hobby!

Monday, September 13, 2010

back in the hood

it's hard to believe that earlier today, we were at a cabin so secluded it took two hours of waiting by the end of the driveway to get a jump for our car...and now we're back in the north side saddle. we came home a few days early 'cause our insane dog bit a porcupine an estimated more than once times and the resulting gory extraction by mr hughes and i has been stuck (so to speak) in our heads ever since. well, we came home for the antibiotics really. but god almighty. our hosts had an incredible liquor cabinet that we ordinarily wouldn't have touched (manners, breastfeeding), but can i just say that after pinning down a bulldozer-strong dog (whimpering for the first time in his tough ass life) again and again for about two hours of brutal porcupine-quill yanking (pliers, blood, dirt), one shared shot of twelve year old single malt scotch tasted exactly like golden liquid magic. l'chaim!

Monday, September 6, 2010

the honeymooners

we have loaded up the caddy and are taking it, the dogs, and the baby northward! david and i went camping in the same area up north around the same time of year when we first dated six years ago and have really good memories of that time. i even wrote a poem about it that began,

"when we go into town
(looking for a wine key)
the old people smile."

i don't remember the rest, except that it ended, "when i am an old woman/ i hope your ghost haunts me."

yeah i just quoted my own poetry, WHAT! anyway, i still hope his ghost haunts me when i am an old woman, or better yet salty old dahveed himself. so happy to be going on a honeymoon with him.

back in one week, my dear two readers!

things i like about shoshi mary part 2


her hands are like fat little starfish and her hair is so fine that it waves slowly in the breeze like seaweed

her laugh, so far this is best achieved by the following technique: "i'mmmmm gonnnnaaa...SQUIGGLE YOU UP! I'M GONNA SQUIGGLE YOU UP FOR BREAKFAST!" (disclaimer: i don't know what this is exactly.)

lately she likes to fall asleep holding your hand with both of her hands

so sweet and so fierce, she just might be achieving the perfect ratio