Monday, August 23, 2010

we have a new first place for parental nightmare porn

"Dang Moua...saw dozens of ragged orphaned children in the forest, eating leaves and dirt. He gave them food but walked on past. His wife found a baby, less than a year old, trying to nurse from the breast of its dead mother. They walked past it, too."
--Anne Fadiman, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (163).

her voice sounded like she had cut out her lungs with a knife and eaten them

i dreamt last night that i wrote that sentence (among other things i don't remember). i don't know what it means exactly but it's sure been stuck in my head all day.

Friday, August 20, 2010

our first hit

the following is a collaborative effort from sarah n david. we have recently discovered that if singsonged in a very sincere and magical tone (don't be afraid to get a little british with it), our girl can often be knocked straight into dreamland.


plum puddings
and tucker butters
and cellar doors
and forest floors
and pretty maids all in a row


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

just like a prayer you know i'll take you there

sometimes our girl has a real hard time falling asleep. she turns into a wicked wild thing (which i secretly love) and fights sleep kicking and screaming till the gruesome end. this will be v charming when she's a toddler! as her mama it is my top job to help escort her into sleep. it usually involves a finely tuned assortment of pacing, pacifier, jiggling, calm "vibes," rocking, soothing words, and swinging (all at once, obv). but the one thing that really never fails is madonna's "like a prayer." it must truly sound "like angels sighing" to our girl because it knocks her right out.

recently david was presented with a poster of madonna in the nude by a friend of his whose girlfriend had moved in, you know how that goes. before seeing the poster i proposed that we hang it above our bed. we were both excited about this prospect. but then david brought it home and it was just too classy! i thought it was going to be a TITSTITSTITS poster with MADONNA in big letters across the top, but it was actually a very tastefully done little portrait and somehow that made it unacceptable for placement above our bed. it's complicated. instead we put it in sho's room because we decided that she is probably the biggest tits man of all in this house.

Monday, August 9, 2010

things i like about shoshi mary

her sweet breath
the generous dimensions of her thighs
her businesslike attitude

most of the time i play it pretty cool, but if anybody ever ends up trying to mess with my girl i will be forced to STRAIGHT MURK THEIR ASS

Saturday, August 7, 2010

dreaming of africa

i'm making a bracelet for sho to wear at the wedding out of tiny fifty year old white beads from africa. my mom lived in nigeria during the 60s and brought back this bowl of beads, which i have loved to look through since i was almost as little as shoshi.

cowabunga dude

if this picture doesn't make your heart beat just a little faster, then you probably weren't an eight-year old girl from the midwest with a bowl haircut and an abiding love of surfing in 1992.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


today we took sho to praise the lord at her first church visit. when we do our lord praising, we like to go big or go home, so it goes without saying that we attended the praise baptist church on rose street. another reason we attended the praise baptist church on rose street is that today was their grand reopening after some considerable repairs were made. the reason some considerable repairs were made is because someone (david's brother) smashed his car drunkenly through the giant neon cross out front, as well as the entire church itself. as david's grandma's husband hubert says, "it's not funny, but it's pretty funny."

wedding plans

david and i are getting married in my parents' backyard in less than a month, and it is shaping up to be a wedding filled with many things i never even knew i dreamed of having, such as a rented slushie machine filled with tequila and a hot pink mexican ice cream cart filled with tiny mexican popsicles.

anyway, we are painting a couple of "david and sarah's wedding" signs to put out front and at the end of the street. i thought it would be a pleasantly gay touch to include a heartwarming quote about marriage on the sign. and while we have deliberated mightily between beautiful lines from both ee cummings and robert frost, i think what sums it up best are these immortal words: "my anaconda don't want none/ unless you got buns, hon."