Sunday, September 19, 2010

on football

out of all the sports that make my brain go -------------, football is the -------iest of them all. i like the parts where the announcers talk about the players' life stories, or interesting facts of football history, or best of all when one of the players or coaches cries, but when it comes time to play and all the players are just this big murky jumble on the field, my mind does the exact thing it does in chase scenes in movies, namely go ----------------. football is the least aesthetically beautiful of all the sports. (sometimes during sports games i like to make a mental list of my own sports prejudices, for example hockey players are the most likely to beat their wives and drive very clean pickup trucks. golfers are the most likely to have drinking problems and weird sexual pecadillos, like peeing on people/getting peed on. soccer players are the most likely to cheat on their wives with their wives' permission, while basketball players are the most likely to cheat on their wives without their wives' permission. and so on.)

anyway, as it happens my new husband is a football fan. he was in fact a "football star" in high school. he enjoys watching football and talking about football, primarily on sundays at 1 pm which is when football takes place. i have decided to embrace this for a number of reasons. i like how the lions are the underdoggiest of all the underdogs, much like michigan. (the aesthetics of their logo and outfits needs some work however.) i like how cozy a football game sounds (especially on the radio) in the fall and winter months (i think this cozy association was imprinted on my brain from a young age by my mom's three brothers). football watching mostly involves drinking beer and eating fried cheese, two parts of life that i deeply appreciate. also there is the part where the players (i typed characters at first) cry and cry like little kindegarten babies. additionally i like how mistah hughes can build things (he is sawing something in the basement as we speak, also hammering), carry a baby in one hand, and (yes) watch football. i don't even want to think about what this means for my feminist leanings, it is hot to think about my man tackling or linebacking or front rear end sideline grabbing.

so, i told him that as long as i don't have to watch or get caught up in the repeated heartbreak (especially for a lions fan) of wins/losses, i will make one delicious food every sunday for his football party (as i like to call it, even when he just listens to the radio in the basement. i also keep calling it super bowl sunday every sunday. sometimes i like to call it both, as in, "are you so excited for your super bowl sunday football party today??")

this has been sarah v, on football.


  1. ohh interesting! i've always wanted to have a friend who was "in to" football. and i think its neat for you to get to experience having a husband who watches football. my boyfriend has tried to get me into baseball but its too boogey posing as working class when i try to assume the role of "mets fan." djuknowhatimean?
    going back to entrenched sports stereotypes, i think tennis players are heroes, uniformly, they are the disciplined and quietly philosophical actors of my sports dreams! (and jonny used to be the captain of the tennis team) however, he was also captain of the volleyball team, which, to my father's midwest sensibilities, directly equals gay.
    anyways, i love your posts and i check ur blog between research article as a reward to myself!
    i hope u start doing multiple daily entries!

  2. man, i have been a footbal fanatic this year... it actually began last year when we moved to cincinnati. i started following the Cincinnati Bengals because when i was a young sport card collecting fan, i loved the bengals! they were my favorite team in the AFC..(the lions are in the NFC so its okay to like both)i work every sunday though so i have found this great radio station that plays on my phones so i am huddled around my phone on sunday...1pm of course....until closing time... thats when the 415 games start ending..and i hurry home to watch the ends and sunday night football illegally on the intraweb. but its def some fanatic ass shit