out of all the sports that make my brain go -------------, football is the -------iest of them all. i like the parts where the announcers talk about the players' life stories, or interesting facts of football history, or best of all when one of the players or coaches cries, but when it comes time to play and all the players are just this big murky jumble on the field, my mind does the exact thing it does in chase scenes in movies, namely go ----------------. football is the least aesthetically beautiful of all the sports. (sometimes during sports games i like to make a mental list of my own sports prejudices, for example hockey players are the most likely to beat their wives and drive very clean pickup trucks. golfers are the most likely to have drinking problems and weird sexual pecadillos, like peeing on people/getting peed on. soccer players are the most likely to cheat on their wives with their wives' permission, while basketball players are the most likely to cheat on their wives without their wives' permission. and so on.)
anyway, as it happens my new husband is a football fan. he was in fact a "football star" in high school. he enjoys watching football and talking about football, primarily on sundays at 1 pm which is when football takes place. i have decided to embrace this for a number of reasons. i like how the lions are the underdoggiest of all the underdogs, much like michigan. (the aesthetics of their logo and outfits needs some work however.) i like how cozy a football game sounds (especially on the radio) in the fall and winter months (i think this cozy association was imprinted on my brain from a young age by my mom's three brothers). football watching mostly involves drinking beer and eating fried cheese, two parts of life that i deeply appreciate. also there is the part where the players (i typed characters at first) cry and cry like little kindegarten babies. additionally i like how mistah hughes can build things (he is sawing something in the basement as we speak, also hammering), carry a baby in one hand, and (yes) watch football. i don't even want to think about what this means for my feminist leanings, it is hot to think about my man tackling or linebacking or front rear end sideline grabbing.
so, i told him that as long as i don't have to watch or get caught up in the repeated heartbreak (especially for a lions fan) of wins/losses, i will make one delicious food every sunday for his football party (as i like to call it, even when he just listens to the radio in the basement. i also keep calling it super bowl sunday every sunday. sometimes i like to call it both, as in, "are you so excited for your super bowl sunday football party today??")
this has been sarah v, on football.