Sunday, July 10, 2011

moments in bad parenting


every parent has those moments (i hope).  when you're desperate to finish the final thirty seconds of dinner preparation, and hand your infant a tightly fastened bottle of vitamins (while you're standing right there, of course) to shake, shake, shake.  when your kid is coughing hard, and you ask your partner, "should we do the heimlich?  or is she just coughing?" and decide she's fine, before she finally coughs up a shiny, deadly penny, somehow alive in spite of her parents' ineptitude.  or when, during the second hour of trying to get your dear sweet eighteen pound infant to sleep, using an exhausting combination of singing, jiggling, pacing and begging, you say gently, "please, please go to sleep, you little motherfucker!" 

why do i tell you these things?  the truth, it is irresistable.  and i do believe: the kids are all right.

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