Wednesday, January 16, 2013

blogging dilemma (aka: first world problems)



oh, my dear and loyal readers!  i'm sorry for every time you've come here expecting a new post and been met with my obnoxiously month-old post ironically titled, "i'm back!"  i've had so much to write about: sho's first airplane ride, the first year that i've "been" santa for her and she really got it, so many gifts made by her with love, adventures large and small embarked upon, a big-relief milestone a year in the making...

but the truth is, i have been having a bit of an internal struggle with this "mommyblogging" deal lately.  first let me say that even years before i had a kid, the so-called mommyblogs (hate that term, but there it is) were my favorite.  i still read and love dozens of them, big and small.  they're a great part of my life, and i admire and respect the mothers writing them.  i just keep thinking about my own kiddo though, and how she might feel about all of this someday.  (not that "all of this" is really much of anything - if i was a bigger blogger, i'd be having a much bigger blogging dilemma.  hooray for mediocrity!)

in so many ways i would love to read a blog today written by my mom when i was a youngun.  it would be an honor to read her thoughts and see the day-to-day photos of our lives together...truly, i would completely love it.  who wouldn't?  but would i have felt the same way as a teenager, with my entire easily-googleable childhood on display for anyone who thought to go looking?  the jury is still out; sho's generation is basically the first to have had their lives blogged about from before their birth and onward.  for the most part, this generation has a ways to go before they are able to experience and process what the repercussions of blogging will even be in their lives.  as a fiercely private and secretive twelve year old, it's tough to imagine that my now-delighted reaction to the idea of my own childhood being blogged about would have held true.

it does trouble me a bit that i am writing about and sharing photographs of my daughter online long before she is of the age to give consent.  she has no idea that photos of our recent night swim at a pool in omaha, nebraska are now available for the public consumption of anyone who cares to take a gander, for example.  how would she feel about that right now?  in ten years?  in twenty years?  as my blog has gotten a bit more popular in recent months (still very tiny however), i have briefly considered making the switch to a for-profit blog...but what repercussions would that have for my daughter?  suddenly her childhood memories are closely tied up with our livelihood, before she's even old enough to understand what's happening, much less give her consent.  i guess i am just so curious how we'll all be viewing this mommy-blogging zeitgeist five or ten or twenty years from now.  empowering women to share their experience?  or exploiting our children for page-views?

like i said though, my blog is still so tiny that i don't really have to worry much about these dilemmas.  it's just something i've been thinking about lately.  i know that a big portion of the people who read this are just family and friends who appreciate getting a glimpse into our lives that they might not ordinarily.  frankly, it's an honor that anyone cares at all!  and i do love blogging, the excuse to write on the reg and formulate my random thoughts and experiences into something coherent and memorable.  i often feel better after pressing "publish," and i have loved the chance to meet and interact with other woman and mothers on this ol' internet of ours.  i just never want my kiddo to feel like i have violated her privacy, however good my intentions are, you know?

i don't know - i'd love to hear your thoughts, whether you're a blogger or lover of blogs.  and i wanted to explain why i haven't been blogging lately...just had to mull some things over, i guess.  it makes me sad to think about no longer writing in this little blog o' mine; i definitely don't think i'll quit completely.  ah, if i only i could visit future-shoshi and ask her what she thinks...

8 comments:

  1. Here is your daughter's blog: http://shoshi.tumblr.com. My two cents? I think you should do what a lot of these bloggers do, and switch to a blog that doesn't use your name. You only ever refer to Sho by her nicknames anyway, which are ungoogleable. If you keep everything anonymous, I think you could post any text you wanted without worrying. Pictures, I don't really know, but if the text isn't searchable it's not like anyone could just punch in her name later and find her baby blog and all her embarrassingly adorable baby photos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sara beej, i really respect your opinion and think you're completely on-point with this...if i had it all to do over, i'd have run the show with nicknames only from the get go. going to do some serious thinking about how to retroactively anonymize things (if that's even possible?). thanks for your input.

      Delete
  2. Howdy. I've lurked around your page for some time now. I've often thought about commenting on your posts to say thankee for sharing yours and Sho's stories, for making me smile, for teaching me some cool stuff, that you and your daughter are clearly amazing people and I appreciate your little corner of the internets.. But, well, I'm more a lurker than a sharer (working on it). :)

    But in case you decide to abandon this blog or turn to something else (and I hear you on the dilemma. Regardless of what you decide, good on you for simply considering your daughter's right to privacy before she's old enough to know what that means..), know that this little blog and Sho's part in it made a positive difference in the days of a total stranger. Regardless of whether Sho may have rather declined consent for being in your blog later on, that positivity gotta count for something good. Thankee both again. --Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow, jess - thank you for your comment and delurkifying to leave it! it really made me smile this morning, i appreciate it. i will take your kind words into consideration when i figure out where to go from here. i do believe i'll change some little things but keep on bloggin'...can't stop won't stop til the break o dawn!

      Delete
  3. I love your blog, as you know, and I do feel so much more connected to sho and you, all the way from new orleans, because i feel like i get let in to some of the smaller moments of your lives. i agree with sara b., that by keeping your last names out of the blog, it would provide a level of privacy to people who don't know you guys in person. i would be sad if you stopped blogging, but ultimately, you need to do what works best for you ladies!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Another lurker here!! I enjoy reading blogs about lives on a different continent, but in the end similar to my own. Raising little ones offers the same challenges and rewards regardless where you are. Which is a great comfort on 'those' days. That said, I totally understand the privacy thing, and I don't have my own life out there, not even facebook. So while I would miss this blog, I totally understand you being thoughtful of your privacy. Ps I love that you are working so hard to build a future for yourself and daughter you should be so proud of your achievements.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Being so far from you dears has been real hard and your updates have allowed me to still be a spectator to yours and sho's life which is really important to me. That said I do often wonder about this generation our kiddos belong to and how different an existence they'll have than the childhood I enjoyed. 8 year olds with cell phones, and having your life broadcast to the entire world by someone else(though it's your mama who loves and dotes upon you) does raise questions. This world is changing so damn fast. Would I let my kiddo have a public blog before I was confident they could understand the repercussions of putting personal information on the inter webs? I wouldn't. Do I ultimately have that control? When it's really just up to checking a "yes I'm over 18" box, I know that I don't. The point is this. I as a close friend i have always valued your insights and wanted to wrap myself up in your writing like a dowzettabyte blanketz. And being a spectator to sho's life has meant the world to me. As someone soon to be a parent to a child who's generation is so much more technologically savvy than ours, I think this pause to consider is immensely important as we really don't know what sort of cultural change is being birthed here. Recently heard this interview with Jon kabat-zinn with krista Tippett talking about the unknowable impact of technology on our lives and on parenting. I can't link to it for some reason though but he also has a TED talk you should check out. I wish you the best of luck with your quandary dear.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi
    Looks like you have decided not to continue your blog. Good luck to you and you beautiful girl. I will miss hearing of your adventures.

    ReplyDelete