Tuesday, January 24, 2012
shoshanna mary at 20 months
i was watching some inane television show last night where a woman's daughter was murdered, which seems to be the content of about 80% of television these days, the other 20% being the kardashians, and was surprised to find tears pouring down my face at the very idea. send me any varietal of despair, just keep sho safe please please.
despair would be my bedfellow these days, except actually shoshanna mary is, and what a lovely bedfellow she is. soft and sweet and fierce, what more could i ever ask for in a life partner?
oh the pronunciation, first and foremost. yellow is a gleeful "lalooo, lalooo!" she says thank you all the time; my months of etiquette training are finally paying off with a most sincere, "hank-ooo!" to everyone, including sandy the pony at meijer's, and the guy who gives us a parking ticket outside the museum. somehow the saddest of all is her "ooops...sah-wee" when she does anything from bump into you to dispense her entire jell-o snack-pack on the carpet.
oh kiddo, i'm such a mess right now. i love you so desperately, and i'm just thankful you are too little to absorb much of what i'm talking about with my girlfriends as you try on their necklaces and rings, and count their change which you carefully dispense into a yellow owl bank, while we discuss the a-s-s-h-a-t who is your dad.
but i know i don't have long for this wallowing. it's time to focus on what's real and true, mainly my love for you and my ability to do something about it. it's time to move past this dream papa i had in mind for you, and investigate the reality of the situation. which is that you are the coolest kid who ever lived, and good lord i'm lucky to have you. we will figure it all out from there, together.