stars

my grandma is moving in to my parents' house on tuesday, which means we'll have four generations in one house!  in other words, my parents are saints.  i have a list of things i need to buy before moving out and into the arms of having zero money to spare, so we'll be holding off on our move for a few more pay cycles.  computer, contacts, car insurance oh my!  so we've begun the work of consolidating all of sho's and my stuff from two bedrooms into one.  although my knee is bruised and my clothes now reside in the entryway coat closet, it is a nice change of scenery for sho and me to be sleeping in the other bedroom, the one i grew up in.  when i was a kid, i was obsessed with moving the furniture around in my room every month or so.  i loved the way a freshly rearranged room felt, like you'd stepped into an entirely new life where the possibilities were endless.  i had a huge packet of glow in the dark stars, and every time i moved my bed, i painstakingly applied new stars to the ceiling above by sticking them on my finger one by one and jumping up to smack them in place.  over the course of years, i managed to cover the ceiling pretty thoroughly with those tiny glow in the dark stars.  then i moved away and promptly forgot all about it.

last night, after working nonstop on getting us settled in our new room, both of us finally bathed and pajamaed, we got under our clean new sheets and turned out the light.  rain was falling steadily on the thirsty earth, and i had that great freshly-rearranged-room feeling straight from my childhood.  all of a sudden shoshi gasped.  "ohhhhhh!  mama!  mama, look!  stars!"  she was in awe.  it was a pretty amazing display of glow in the dark prowess, if i do say so myself, magnified by the fact that she's never seen them before and therefore may or may not have believed they were actual stars.  (oh, to know exactly what goes on in a two-year old's head...)  it was such a lovely moment, like a gift from my kid-self to my daughter, all clean and cozy in bed with the rain pattering outside.  sometimes as a parent, you work pretty hard for those "ohhhh!" moments, like the toy kitchen for christmas i'm already saving for and sewing felt food for after she goes to sleep.  how great it is, when those moments just happen along unexpectedly, no scrimping or premeditation required?

p.s. the winner of the native home crown giveaway, as chosen by random.org, is...comment number 2, lindsay!  congratulations lindsay, email to follow.  thanks for reading everyone!

captain america

these are somewhat totally annoying, but in nervous celebration of the fact that i just asked my boss for a bigger raise (eep!), i present shoshi at her friend jack's birthday party last night:

captain america says: talk to the hand, bitches.

nature girl

this girl of mine sure loves mucking around in the dirt.  as soon as she sets foot outside, she says, "shoes off!" like a total hippie.  and more often than not, when it's time to go inside, i have to pick her up and carry her kicking and yelling, because she sure as heck won't come in voluntarily.  she works side by side with my mom - the most dedicated and talented gardener i know; you should see her gardens, man - with a look of great seriousness and determination on her face.  she did not get this from me.  i mean, i like nature and all (i'm hoping that soon we'll have a big vegetable garden where we grow a lot of our food in the summertime), but to be real with myself, i'd totally rather lounge around reading or sewing than work outside all day.  this is one of the many reasons that sho is a cooler person than me.  i'm grateful i didn't get one of those babies who hates grass, sand, and dirt though.  i think sho would sleep in the dirt if she could, reals.  and i think because she's such an outdoor girl, i will end up being a better one myself.  one of the eight thousand ways that shoshanna inspires and improves me, on the daily.  it's going to be interesting to see what she thinks of snow this winter...my guess is a big: "APPROVE."

sew your love + giveaway

i sewed a fair amount in middle and high school, mostly hand-sewn crazy quilts with my friend erin (totally rock and roll).  so when i was pregnant with shosh, it was only natural to haul out the ol' sewing machine and see what my crazily nesting ass could whip up.  blankets, bunting for her nursery, bibs and burp cloths, little fabric birds for a mobile.  clothing was always too intimidating, and i've never been able to follow a pattern (still can't, really).  my grandma, whose ancient and wonderful viking i inherited, was the same kind of sewer.  she was totally self-taught, making things up as she went along and rarely following a pattern. she'd take things apart to see how they worked, then sew up a new one, which is exactly what i do, fifty years later.  weird confessional sidenote: part of me wishes i'd saved the underwear collection we discovered while going through her dresser after she died.  she had dozens of pairs sewn from every scrap of fabric imaginable, bright florals and pink paisleys and everything silky-soft in between.  maybe someday i, too, will be the kind of woman who whips up a pair of undies from every soft-fabric project scrap i encounter...ah, someday.

the first time i ever made clothes for sho, it was her first fall and i had been reading a lot of little house on the prairie.  deep in my bones, i felt the need to prepare for the changing seasons in an elemental, simple way - to sew clothes that would keep my small babe warm through the bitter michigan winter.  i used old t-shirts to make many versions of the 90-minute shirt, some adapted into dresses, others into little matching sweatsuits.  it was incredibly satisfying work; a tangible, practical way to put my love of that little bald-headed baby of mine into action.  it was an amazing feeling to take a ripped old t-shirt, sit down at my sewing machine nook under the stairs, and emerge an hour later with a one-of-a-kind creation for my girl.  i loved that she'd be wearing soft, awesome-looking clothes made with serious mama love all winter long.  many have been passed along, but some of the things i made that fall still remain:

when spring rolled around, i found myself overwhelmed by the same urge to create new clothes for the new season in my girl's life, to celebrate the return of the sun and waving leaves and warmth on our skin.  ever since that first change of season from summer to fall, i have felt the pull of the sewing machine every time one season wanes and another waxes in.  for me it is a way of honoring the change in weather, of feeling connected to the cycles of the earth in a very practical way.  i'm thankful that we've never had a lot of money for clothes, because i doubt that i would have pursued my sewing so enthusiastically if i'd had the money to buy new ones.  this way is so much more rewarding.

for sho's second winter on this earth, i was obsessed with pants.  i took apart a pair of hers to figure out how it worked, and made a pattern out of a brown paper bag taped together, which i still have and use for new baby gifts today.  if you're reading this and thinking about sewing clothes for the first time, i recommend starting with kid pants.  they're quick, surprisingly easy, and so satisfying - you'll be hooked.  it's a gateway drug into the world of sewing for your kiddo, with this easy tutorial for reversible pants quick on its heels (i wish i'd thought to look at either of those links before battling it out on my own; they're great)!  you can use a pair of your kiddo's pants to make the pattern if the size in the linked tutorial isn't right - just be sure to use a non-stretchy pair of pants if you'll be using non-stretchy fabric, and likewise with knit fabrics.  i was totally hooked on making quick-change trousers from the book handmade beginnings, which i checked out from the library and drooled over for a solid month before regretfully returning it.  i'd really recommend her book, as well as handmade home (my fave) and growing up sew liberated for sewing inspiration and patterns that aren't too obnoxious to follow.  below are some of the pants i made that fall, a few of which still fit today.  (i just put those floral pants on shoshi this morning before i left for work, in fact!)  the cuffs allow these pants to be worn for ages; just uncuff 'em as your babe grows.

the thing is, i'm not a great sewer.  i get frustrated and rip out seams and swear at my machine, which is why these days i rarely try anything that's too elaborate; i know my limitations and would rather have fun while sewing.  i'm an immediate gratification type of sewer, totally.  if you're just starting off, i would advise you not to linger too long on those glossy pages in the books i linked to above that say "advanced" or "intermediate" sewer.  stick with really simple projects you can finish in a half hour at first - burp cloths or a soft blanket or a bib.  when you realize how easy those projects can be, and run through the house yelling "look what i just made! look what i just made!" for the first time...that's how you'll get hooked.  not with some elaborate baby hoodie with pockets and toggle fasteners and a hood, tempting as it may be.  if your kiddo has outgrown the bib/burp cloth stage, this stuffed bunny tutorial looks rather fabulous to me, and not too tough to make at all. you are going to make mistakes and rip out your seams and/or hair, but try to keep in mind that that's how you're learning (at least, if you're like me...).  when i think back to some of the mistakes i made, i just have to shake my head and say, "oh honey."  but i had to make 'em to learn, and i'm so glad i stuck with it!  [peep our shop if you'd like to see what we've been up to lately - new monsters and capes up today.]

this summer, i've been obsessed with making the dresses featured below.  i can easily make two during a little after-sho's-bedtime-before-mine sewing session, with no frustration involved.  perfection.  i'm already setting aside long-sleeved onesies and coordinating fabrics for fall and winter dresses for shoshanna.  i've made a few circle skirts for her as well, and have been pleasantly surprised by how simple they are.  i might just step outside of my kiddo-sewing comfort zone and make one for myself soon.... 

anyhow, thanks for listening to my rambles about my journey thus far sewing for my little shoshanna mary.  i hope all those blasted links might be helpful to some of you out there who are interested in sewing for your own little ones!  i chose them carefully and can recommend every one.  

i know this blog doesn't have a ton of readers yet, but i'd like to thank you guys for reading with a very little giveaway - with another in the works for later this week!  it's a crown, which i'll embroider with the initial of your choice on a patch in the front before sewing it together, with elastic in the back for easy on-and-off.  i'll ask the winner for the head circumference of their little one so i can make it fit just right!  [also, i know there's some pink in there, but it's a manly pink...however, if you win and had a boy in mind for the crown, and that boy would rather not have pink, i will happily make another crown just for you.]  

just leave a comment below (be sure to include a way to get in touch with you), and introduce yourself if you'd like to.  i'll choose the winner using random.org on friday august 7th. good luck, and thank you so much for reading!

xoxo

imagination station

it's officially on & popping when it comes to shoshanna's imagination skills these days.  it's somewhat super boring to sit there and build the fiftieth duplos tower of the morning, but sometimes you get this window into the remembering of how it felt to play like that, to staple bubble-wrap together into sleeping bags for the toy giraffe and his girl, and to use a cocktail umbrella to shield them from the rain.  she demands, "BUILD, mama, BUILD!" and i see her watching me turn the plastic blocks into a tree fort with a slide going into the ocean, mostly watching and figuring out how to create worlds of her own someday.  it's important work, playing.

check back in tomorrow afternoon for our first little giveaway from me to you!

where we'll be

yesterday was sara's birthday (not my friend sara with the husband and the cancer, but my other sara), so we went over to celebrate with her last night.  (one nice thing about shoshanna is that when there's a birthday, she sees it as everyone's birthday, so she went around wishing us all a happy bir-day all night long.)  shoshi and i will be moving in with this birthday-sara soon, and it was amazing to see her house transformed after all the construction that's been going down there lately.  when you walk in the front door, it's all just one vast room and kitchen, with gleaming wood floors and bright, warm lighting.  it feels good there.

that top photo is sho peeking out of the bedroom that might be ours (still deciding), into the main room.  the picture with the hand and the chopsticks is of pickled kohlrabi (good!) and sara wanted me to tell you (in the interest of internet honesty) that it took three shots with the camera to get it right.  bloggers are dorks, man.  as for the chickens, sara has two of those pretty ladies living in her backyard, with more on the way!  i have always really wanted shoshanna to grow up with a good and close understanding of where her food comes from, and to help as much as possible in the process of bringing it from the land to the table, so i am pretty happy about this chicken business.  needless to say, sho's psyched as well.

alongside the excitement over our move has also come a lot of sadness about leaving my parents' house, and guilt about uprooting sho from the familiar (and then doing it all over again, when we eventually move into a place just our own).  visiting sara's house yesterday made me feel a lot better about everything.  although it was still nice to come home to my mama and give shoshanna a late-night sink bath together.  i will miss those moments a lot.

movin' on up

when david and i broke up in october, the house and car were in his name, while the majority of the vast bills just so happened to be in my name.  (one of many reasons i'm pretty much over men 4eva & eva amen, at this juncture.)  i had zero savings of my own, an extremely part-time job working at a bakery, and a toddler.  it was grim times, man, and winter was a-comin'.  so shoshanna and i moved in with my parents, and once i got a full-time job, i started driving my awesome grandma's buick to work.  (she is ninety, and around the time she started saying "why are all those people walking in the road?" regarding pedestrians on the sidewalk, we've been doing the driving for her.)  i think a lot about how different our lives would be today if we hadn't been able to lean on my parents so heavily during these days.  (answer: pretty shitty.)

anyway, it's been nine months since we've moved in with my parents, and it has been such a good experience for the two of us.  living with her "uma and chuck" was some major stability in sho's life when she really needed it, and in my own as well.  the money we've saved by not having to pay rent has been a lifesaver, especially since we still have yet to receive any support money from david since april (and even then, it was a whopping twenty bucks).  but, it's getting to be time for us to make our way in a place of our own.  my friend sara bought a house last year and has been doing major construction on it ever since, with a room (or two) set kindly aside for sho and me all the while, whenever we were ready to move in.  since my grandma will be moving back in with my parents soon (she rotates between living with my dad and his two sisters), i have been thinking more and more about this big move, just sho and i living this new life of ours together.  i'm really excited.

but i was worried about finding a car, and how exactly i was going to manage car payments and rent, utilities, and insurance with my tiny income.  then my friend dan the awesome photograph man called me out of the blue: "hey, do you want my car?"  seriously, who needs the lottery with peeps like mine?  and who would've guessed that the many parking tickets i helped him accumulate during the amazingly fun summer we spent going to the beach every day would contribute to his license being taken away, which would lead to this windfall of a car dropping right into my lap?  (i swear, i didn't plan it like that.)  so, we negotiated a wee monthly car payment plan ($$ + the book of my choice, ordered and sent to him in detroit (i also pay my phone bill this way, through my dear pal michael who works at a cell phone store - it's the sve book club special)), and he brought the car by on friday.  she's a beaut!

(dan, bidding his car a tearful adieu)

i kept saying, "sho, this is OUR car!  it's ours!"  it just really hit me what a team we are going to be out in the world, just the two of us.  my parents will still be a massive part of our lives (in a way it's really strange and nerve wracking to think about not living with them anymore), but it's still going to be so different when it's just shoshi and me vs. the big ol' world out there.

i pretty much couldn't have invented a better partner in crime if i'd set out specifically to do so in my mad scientist laboratory, not in a million years of trying.